Awake and Human

Grungy sheets with stains of sweat,
water drip-drip-dropping from the corner,
the smell of cigarettes in the ashtray on the floor.
I'm laying awake again.

This sweat was not bore of passion or love
but pure animal instinct
or perhaps promise of money.
The water is from the rain yes,
but not the kind God sends
to wash the earth clean.
These cigarettes keep me alive
at least for the night
while slowing killing me.
I stare at the wall some more.

To be human is to know
in the end I will cease to be.
And whatever gets me there the fastest
is alright by me.

It's colder now...

"Where is God? Up there somewhere, shouting down that He loves us, wondering why we can't hear Him." ~What Dreams May Come


I'm feeling far away. I need a long drive to feel close again. I wish I had the time.

Hey, I miss you.

Glance

I love it when I catch you looking at me sideways thinking I don't notice.Well I do and I love it.I never feel as beautiful as I do when you glance at me.In that momentI fall in love with you all over again, as if it were the first time.Who would guessthat a simple gaze could make all those butteflies come back.

Survey

1 - what do you believe in?

i believe that you are not living simply because you are breathing. life is more than that. life is the joy you find in things and the joy you give to others.

2 - what makes up your insides?

crunchy peanut butter and bubble gum hold together all the shoots and ladders inside me.

3 - tell me about heaven.

heaven is that time you realized what it meant to be loved. unconditionally. by a parent, sibling, friend, or lover.

4 - what is evil?

is not helping where you could have, even if there was no benefit to you.

5 - are we really alone in the end?

at that last moment, something or someone reaches out. or we have our memories as our life flashes before our eyes. and even if we were alone. we wouldn't be for long. i don't think anyone spends eternity alone. even if they were alone here.

6 - how will all life be destroyed?

everyone will fall asleep and then our organs will be harvested by aliens.

7 - how do you think they make coca-cola?

polar bears urine.

8 - how did the world begin?

with love. someone wanted to give us this big world to play with. or perhaps wanted to play with us.

9 - what is your favorite band and why?

Kings of Leon. Before they were popular. They make me feel lonely and loved at the same time. I think it is a kind of mystical feeling. I like it.

10 - if you could give advice to a person who was about to quit believing in everything, what would you say?

Do you believe not beliving in anything will work? Whether you do or don't means you belive in something. So why not just have faith for a little longer?

All Love

"It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."


Everyone should know love. Not necessarily the romantic kind, because that dwindles more often than other kinds of love. Everyone needs to someone to care about them, someone to just be there. Someone to say, "I'm happy you are alive." Make sure you love someone, especially those that no one else will love.

Someone once told me something I thought was interesting. He said if you ever feel really down let yourself be really depressed for 15 minutes but no more. Be really really sad, get ridiculously angry and upset. And then snap out of it. It's a release. I don't know if it would work but it seems better than the alternatives of being continuously depressed or keeping it bottled up.



“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times when one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Rain, rain stay today

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pSyYhRYeIM

God is in the rain....

On days like today

So much sadness exists in the world that we are all under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers. ~John Sutherland Bonnell


Don't be sad.

Trying

I hate people that act unprofessionally. Like not showing up for an interview when you are the interviewer. Whatever. Still lived and jammed to some music real loud on the way home :)

Keep living.

First

So a friend of mine recently started a blog and his is very inspiring. I do not think mine will be any life altering thing for myself or others but it is merely that if I am able, I willl write here.

One of the definitions of the word live is: to experience or enjoy life to the full. It has come to my attention that I don't really live every day. Yes I am breathing and functioning but I don't actually enjoy every day. So I have decided that for at least 55 seconds each day, I will really live. I hope that everyone who is not already "living" will join me in trying this. It doesn't necessarily mean I am going to start skydiving or saving lives but simply that I will try and find beauty in small things, enjoy simple moments with people I love, smile more. Things I know I can do and maybe eventually I get to those bigger things.

Remember. Live and Love.